Steppingstonestofaith

I love the idea of reflections taking a moment to pause, process, and see how God is working in my life. So, I’ve decided to add them here, sharing what He’s teaching me in hopes that it speaks to you, too.

Ever heard the saying that honor is the highest form of respect?

The Bible says we should honor our parents so that our days may be long, but I struggled with this for years.

How do you honor someone you don’t respect? Someone who has hurt you, yet God’s Word requires honor?

I asked people how they did it, but their answers never settled in my heart. The little girl in me clung to the hurt, while the woman in the mirror,the Christian I was striving to be, knew I couldn’t hold onto it forever.

Then, one day, over coffee, I heard his truth. He said he was sorry, and I nodded. But later, anger crept in. If I forgave him, I would lose my right to hold onto my pain.It felt like letting go of the only thing that had protected me all these years. How do you just release years of boundaries, years of your truth, simply because someone says, I’m sorry?

I wrestled. I told God, I want to let go. I want to forgive like You do. But what does that mean for me? This person still has the ability to hurt me. How do I just move forward?

And then it all came down to God’s nature.

This was a text I sent my dad:

Morning you,
It took me a while to get to this point. You might have thought saying sorry was the beginning of something beautiful, and in all honesty, it should have been. But after our breakfast, when I was alone with my thoughts, part of me became angry. I wanted to know how does one word make up for everything?

After hearing your ‘why,’ I questioned, “Do you even understand what you caused?” The trauma? The way I thought, the way I acted, the way I justified so many things? And then I realized I had to make a choice. This was the hard part…

Do I let go without you knowing the full extent of my pain? Do I forgive the way I’ve been forgiven and move toward something new? I don’t think we’ll ever be ‘daddy and daughter’ in the way I once longed for, but maybe there’s room for something different, something good. God promises to work all things for good for those who love Him. so I can’t let fear of ‘what if’ stop me from trusting Him.

But the other part of me hesitated. If I let go without you fully knowing the depth of my hurt, then I can never go back. I can’t say, ‘This is just who you are.’ If I forgive, then I am opening myself up again. And if you hurt me, that would be on me.

So I prayed. I kept looking for God to show me what He wanted me to do. I heard messages on why I shouldn’t forgive, but the truth is, God only asks one thing because anything else would contradict His nature.

He calls us to love as we love ourselves. He calls us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Part of me felt weak, like forgiving you meant losing. But I know God. I know His mercy. I’ve seen how He has redeemed other relationships in my life. How could I not do the right thing?

I’m sorry I didn’t reach out sooner. I couldn’t. And if I was going to speak to you again, I wanted it to be real. I just want us to get to know each other and be present in each other’s lives.

By sharing this, I want you to see that forgiveness requires honesty with ourselves and with others.

We aren’t perfect. But I received a grace that allowed me to truly see my dad again, not through the lens of what he failed to be, but through the weight of who God called him to be.

Because honor isn’t just about the highest form of respect. It’s about choosing to see others as God sees them, even when they don’t deserve it.

 “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ power may rest on me.”2 Corinthians 12:9

Some questions to Reflect on:

1. What fears or doubts do I have about truly letting go of past hurts?
2. How can I approach forgiveness in a way that reflects God’s love and grace?
3. In moments of struggle, how can I remind myself that God’s grace is sufficient for me?
4. How does the example of Christ’s forgiveness challenge me in my life?